Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Trust or Honesty?





It is not uncommon to hear people say that trust is the most important element in a relationship. And I agree. Trust is the building foundation of any relationships. Because of the trust your partner has for you, he/she handed over to you something that is so important to him/her; her/his heart, her/his life and his/her happiness. And he/she does this, because your partner trust that you will take good care of all these that have been handed over to you. He/she trusts that you will honor and value the sanctity of the relationship.

Unfortunately, many a times, this trust has been abused, and has been taken advantaged of by people who on one hand, says that trust is so very important, yet on the other hand takes trust so lightly. So in my humble opinion, I think that what is more important in relationship is not trust, but honesty. Without honesty, trust is just an empty shell. Doesn't this sound like the familiar childhood story, 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' that we have heard so many times when we were younger? The rationale is the same. People just don't trust you again once they have caught you lie before. Maybe they will one day, but the scar will always be there, the insecurity will always be there. 

When trust is broken, don't blame it on others. Blame it on yourself. Because, once upon a time, your partner trusted you so much, yet you chose to be dishonest. You gave him/her the opportunity to distrust you. 

When you have broken the trust, don't expect trust to be be re-established overnight. It is not as easy as that. Just think of a friend whom you have caught him lie before, would you be able to trust him/her again? Or would you think that everything that he's saying is just another brag, just another lie, just another bullsh* story he/she is trying to come up with. If trust in a friendship when broken, is so difficult to be re-established, how long do you think you need to re-establish trust in a relationship when your partner had previously given you the 100% trust that he/she thought deserved. 

If you are complaining about mending this relationship that is without trust, look back and always ask yourself, what happened to the trust? Don't complain, because your partner whom you have been dishonest to, is probably living a life worse off than you. And he/she didn't deserve that. Not only must he/she try to mend the relationship, he/she must learn to trust again, and he/she needs to recover from the episode. 

When you're trying to mend the relationship, all talk but no action equates to nonsense. Be patient. Give time. Give your reassurances. Don't hide when there's nothing to hide. Be open. And most importantly, don't lie. 

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