28.10.2014 : Yesterday was our 过大礼 day!
A little background on 过大礼, also known as Betrothal. A really summarized version of it. According to the husband also, he said that it Betrothal also symbolized that the groom's family has accepted the bride in to the family.
: Betrothal, Guo Da Li 过大礼, also known as ‘Na Zhen’, is the formalities performed by the groom to bind both families together, and it shows the sincerity of the Groom to the Bride’s family.
A little background on 过大礼, also known as Betrothal. A really summarized version of it. According to the husband also, he said that it Betrothal also symbolized that the groom's family has accepted the bride in to the family.
: Betrothal, Guo Da Li 过大礼, also known as ‘Na Zhen’, is the formalities performed by the groom to bind both families together, and it shows the sincerity of the Groom to the Bride’s family.
Traditionally, this process is done two to three months before the distribution of invitation cards where a senior relative will accompany the groom to present the “Pin Jin” 聘金 and the pre-discussed gifts to the bride’s family.
Nowadays this process is usually done two to three weeks before the wedding day and a good friend can also accompany the groom. (adapted from The Chinese Wedding Shop)
And you will be surprised by the amount of things both families would need to buy.
Gifts for the Groom to bring over
• *Teochew Only * Straw Basket ( To carry the gifts over)
• *Hokkien Only* Black and Red Basket ( To carry the gifts over)
• 1 Ang Bao with betrothal gift money 聘金 (Typically an amount with 8)
• 2 pair of Double Happiness candles (2 dragon 2 phoenix, full wax)
• 6 Pig trotters minimum (Available in cans. Gift for Mother-In-law)
• Hard liquor or red/white wine (Gift for Father-in-Law)
• Traditional wedding cakes (For bride’s family to distribute to relatives)
• 8-12 Oranges ( Symbolize good luck)
• 12-16 Apples ( Symbolize peace)
• *Teochew Only* Peanut Candy ( To have off springs soon)
• *Teochew Only* Sesame candy ( To have many off springs)
• *Hokkien Only* Rice candy ( For prosperity)
• *Teochew Only* Lao Ma Gor 老嫲糕 (A type of wedding pastry. Skip if the bride’s grandma is not around)
• *Teochew Only* Banana 连招贵子 ( Homophone for ‘bring’ To bring in children )
• A pair of Coconut 有爷有子 (Homophone for Grandfather and Child. To have a family with multi-generation)
• Charcoal ( To symbolize the bride will have a good life after marriage)
• Black Moss, Fa Cai 发菜 ( To strike rich)
• Jewelry (For the bride)
• 1 Gift Box 礼金盒 containing
- Jewelry ( For the Bride)
- *Teochew Only* 4 pieces of gold jewelry 四点金 (Ring, earrings, necklace and bangle. Will be given by groom’s parents during tea ceremony but need to be presented during Betrothal Gift Ceremony)
- Dried Longan (Bless with a dragon boy)
- Red date 鸿运当头 (To have good fortune)
- Lily bulbs 百年好合 (A harmonious union)
• *Teochew Only * Straw Basket ( To carry the gifts over)
• *Hokkien Only* Black and Red Basket ( To carry the gifts over)
• 1 Ang Bao with betrothal gift money 聘金 (Typically an amount with 8)
• 2 pair of Double Happiness candles (2 dragon 2 phoenix, full wax)
• 6 Pig trotters minimum (Available in cans. Gift for Mother-In-law)
• Hard liquor or red/white wine (Gift for Father-in-Law)
• Traditional wedding cakes (For bride’s family to distribute to relatives)
• 8-12 Oranges ( Symbolize good luck)
• 12-16 Apples ( Symbolize peace)
• *Teochew Only* Peanut Candy ( To have off springs soon)
• *Teochew Only* Sesame candy ( To have many off springs)
• *Hokkien Only* Rice candy ( For prosperity)
• *Teochew Only* Lao Ma Gor 老嫲糕 (A type of wedding pastry. Skip if the bride’s grandma is not around)
• *Teochew Only* Banana 连招贵子 ( Homophone for ‘bring’ To bring in children )
• A pair of Coconut 有爷有子 (Homophone for Grandfather and Child. To have a family with multi-generation)
• Charcoal ( To symbolize the bride will have a good life after marriage)
• Black Moss, Fa Cai 发菜 ( To strike rich)
• Jewelry (For the bride)
• 1 Gift Box 礼金盒 containing
- Jewelry ( For the Bride)
- *Teochew Only* 4 pieces of gold jewelry 四点金 (Ring, earrings, necklace and bangle. Will be given by groom’s parents during tea ceremony but need to be presented during Betrothal Gift Ceremony)
- Dried Longan (Bless with a dragon boy)
- Red date 鸿运当头 (To have good fortune)
- Lily bulbs 百年好合 (A harmonious union)
- Walnut/ Peanut 和和气气 ( To have harmony)
- Lotus seeds 连连生子 (To have many children)
- Dried tangerine 大吉大利 (To have great luck)
- Pine tree leaf 长寿 (If bride’s family has grandparents. Symbolized longevity and health, health and vitality for couple),
- Dried melon slice 甜甜蜜蜜 ( Sweet life together)
- Different grains like red beans, green beans, wheat, soy beans, barley and rice. (To bless the couple to have bountiful harvests)
• Double Happiness Stickers
• Red banner to hang over door
• 2 cans of tea leaves and 2 packets of white sesame seeds (To symbolize seeds growing into trees)
- Lotus seeds 连连生子 (To have many children)
- Dried tangerine 大吉大利 (To have great luck)
- Pine tree leaf 长寿 (If bride’s family has grandparents. Symbolized longevity and health, health and vitality for couple),
- Dried melon slice 甜甜蜜蜜 ( Sweet life together)
- Different grains like red beans, green beans, wheat, soy beans, barley and rice. (To bless the couple to have bountiful harvests)
• Double Happiness Stickers
• Red banner to hang over door
• 2 cans of tea leaves and 2 packets of white sesame seeds (To symbolize seeds growing into trees)
Gifts for the Bride’s family to return
• Gold Ring, or watch, or cufflinks, or belt, or wallet with an Ang Bao inserted (For the groom)
• 2 bottles of orange juice or syrup (For good luck)
• Portion of the gift received from groom (Usually half will be returned)
• Huat kueh 发糕 (Symbolize prosperity)
Dowry from Bride’s family ( Groom to bring the items back to the bridal chamber)
• Furniture such as bed, mattress or dressing table
• 1 Sewing machine/Sewing kit (To be bound together)
• 1 Ruler 得寸进尺 (To have many children and grandchildren)
• *Hokkien Only* Sugar Cane 同甘共苦 ( To go through thick and thin together)
• Essentials 子孙三宝 ( To symbolize fertility)
- Bath Basin
- Wash basin
- Spittoon
- Mug
- Towel
- Toothpaste
- Toothbrush
• Linen (Pillow covers and bed sheet)
• Tea set (For tea ceremony at groom’s side)
• Bowl set
• 2 pair of Chopstick 早生贵子 (To have off springs soon)
• 1 pair of Bedside Lamp 添丁发财 (To symbolize fertility and wealth)
• 1 Red umbrella (To be left in bride’s home for use on wedding day)
• Fate coins 大缘小缘 (For setting up matrimonial bed 安床. Place some at 4 corners of the bed, of the room and in cupboards and drawers)
• Jewelry (optional)
(information adapted from Top Photography)
As you can see in the pictures, ours was really simplified, substituting most items to Angpow (red packets) instead. We felt that it was more practical and less cumbersome. The groom wouldn't have to carry so many things back to his house, and we could also save on those items that we might not need.
• Gold Ring, or watch, or cufflinks, or belt, or wallet with an Ang Bao inserted (For the groom)
• 2 bottles of orange juice or syrup (For good luck)
• Portion of the gift received from groom (Usually half will be returned)
• Huat kueh 发糕 (Symbolize prosperity)
Dowry from Bride’s family ( Groom to bring the items back to the bridal chamber)
• Furniture such as bed, mattress or dressing table
• 1 Sewing machine/Sewing kit (To be bound together)
• 1 Ruler 得寸进尺 (To have many children and grandchildren)
• *Hokkien Only* Sugar Cane 同甘共苦 ( To go through thick and thin together)
• Essentials 子孙三宝 ( To symbolize fertility)
- Bath Basin
- Wash basin
- Spittoon
- Mug
- Towel
- Toothpaste
- Toothbrush
• Linen (Pillow covers and bed sheet)
• Tea set (For tea ceremony at groom’s side)
• Bowl set
• 2 pair of Chopstick 早生贵子 (To have off springs soon)
• 1 pair of Bedside Lamp 添丁发财 (To symbolize fertility and wealth)
• 1 Red umbrella (To be left in bride’s home for use on wedding day)
• Fate coins 大缘小缘 (For setting up matrimonial bed 安床. Place some at 4 corners of the bed, of the room and in cupboards and drawers)
• Jewelry (optional)
(information adapted from Top Photography)
As you can see in the pictures, ours was really simplified, substituting most items to Angpow (red packets) instead. We felt that it was more practical and less cumbersome. The groom wouldn't have to carry so many things back to his house, and we could also save on those items that we might not need.
And this was the groom's gift to me.
And my gift to him + my luggage of clothes, makeup etc. to be brought over to his house
The whole 过大礼was over like in 5-10 minutes. Totally fuss-free!
And here's us, with a picture of the "Four Gold" that his father has bought for me.
Yay. Finally being accepted officially into his family! :)
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