Wedding Talk: 过大礼咯

28.10.2014 : Yesterday was our 过大礼 day!

A little background on 过大礼, also known as Betrothal. A really summarized version of it. According to the husband also, he said that it Betrothal also symbolized that the groom's family has accepted the bride in to the family. 

: Betrothal, Guo Da Li 过大礼, also known as ‘Na Zhen’, is the formalities performed by the groom to bind both families together, and it shows the sincerity of the Groom to the Bride’s family.

Traditionally, this process is done two to three months before the distribution of invitation cards where a senior relative will accompany the groom to present the “Pin Jin” 聘金 and the pre-discussed gifts to the bride’s family.

Nowadays this process is usually done two to three weeks before the wedding day and a good friend can also accompany the groom.  (adapted from The Chinese Wedding Shop)

And you will be surprised by the amount of things both families would need to buy. 

Gifts for the Groom to bring over
• *Teochew Only * Straw Basket ( To carry the gifts over)
• *Hokkien Only* Black and Red Basket ( To carry the gifts over)
• 1 Ang Bao with betrothal gift money 聘金 (Typically an amount with 8)
• 2 pair of Double Happiness candles (2 dragon 2 phoenix, full wax)
• 6 Pig trotters minimum (Available in cans. Gift for Mother-In-law)
• Hard liquor or red/white wine (Gift for Father-in-Law)
• Traditional wedding cakes (For bride’s family to distribute to relatives)
• 8-12 Oranges ( Symbolize good luck)
• 12-16 Apples ( Symbolize peace)
• *Teochew Only* Peanut Candy ( To have off springs soon)
• *Teochew Only* Sesame candy ( To have many off springs)
• *Hokkien Only* Rice candy ( For prosperity)
• *Teochew Only* Lao Ma Gor 老嫲糕 (A type of wedding pastry. Skip if the bride’s grandma is not around)
• *Teochew Only* Banana 连招贵子 ( Homophone for ‘bring’ To bring in children )
• A pair of Coconut 有爷有子 (Homophone for Grandfather and Child. To have a family with multi-generation)
• Charcoal ( To symbolize the bride will have a good life after marriage)
• Black Moss, Fa Cai 发菜 ( To strike rich)
• Jewelry (For the bride)
• 1 Gift Box 礼金盒 containing
- Jewelry ( For the Bride)
- *Teochew Only* 4 pieces of gold jewelry 四点金 (Ring, earrings, necklace and bangle. Will be given by groom’s parents during tea ceremony but need to be presented during Betrothal Gift Ceremony)
- Dried Longan (Bless with a dragon boy)
- Red date 鸿运当头 (To have good fortune)
- Lily bulbs 百年好合 (A harmonious union) 

- Walnut/ Peanut 和和气气 ( To have harmony)
- Lotus seeds 连连生子 (To have many children)
- Dried tangerine 大吉大利 (To have great luck)
- Pine tree leaf 长寿 (If bride’s family has grandparents. Symbolized longevity and health, health and vitality for couple),
- Dried melon slice 甜甜蜜蜜 ( Sweet life together)
- Different grains like red beans, green beans, wheat, soy beans, barley and rice. (To bless the couple to have bountiful harvests)
• Double Happiness Stickers
• Red banner to hang over door
• 2 cans of tea leaves and 2 packets of white sesame seeds (To symbolize seeds growing into trees)

Gifts for the Bride’s family to return
• Gold Ring, or watch, or cufflinks, or belt, or wallet with an Ang Bao inserted (For the groom)
• 2 bottles of orange juice or syrup (For good luck)
• Portion of the gift received from groom (Usually half will be returned)
• Huat kueh 发糕 (Symbolize prosperity)
Dowry from Bride’s family ( Groom to bring the items back to the bridal chamber)
• Furniture such as bed, mattress or dressing table
• 1 Sewing machine/Sewing kit (To be bound together) 
• 1 Ruler 得寸进尺 (To have many children and grandchildren)
• *Hokkien Only* Sugar Cane 同甘共苦 ( To go through thick and thin together)
• Essentials 子孙三宝 ( To symbolize fertility)
- Bath Basin
- Wash basin
- Spittoon
- Mug
- Towel
- Toothpaste
- Toothbrush
• Linen (Pillow covers and bed sheet)
• Tea set (For tea ceremony at groom’s side)
• Bowl set
• 2 pair of Chopstick 早生贵子 (To have off springs soon)
• 1 pair of Bedside Lamp 添丁发财 (To symbolize fertility and wealth)
• 1 Red umbrella (To be left in bride’s home for use on wedding day)
• Fate coins 大缘小缘 (For setting up matrimonial bed 安床. Place some at 4 corners of the bed, of the room and in cupboards and drawers)
• Jewelry (optional)
(information adapted from Top Photography)

As you can see in the pictures, ours was really simplified, substituting most items to Angpow (red packets) instead. We felt that it was more practical and less cumbersome. The groom wouldn't have to carry so many things back to his house, and we could also save on those items that we might not need.

And this was the groom's gift to me. 

And my gift to him + my luggage of clothes, makeup etc. to be brought over to his house 

The whole 过大礼was over like in 5-10 minutes. Totally fuss-free!

And here's us, with a picture of the "Four Gold" that his father has bought for me. 

Yay. Finally being accepted officially into his family! :) 

#emo

It has been 3 years+ since the incident and somehow I am still unable to have closure with myself. 

I have never dare to write anything about it on public platforms, for fear of putting myself in a vulnerable position. I've decided to do it today, because maybe writing it out all, will help me, even if it is just to make me feel slightly better. 

I know I'm not supposed to snoop. But sometimes, just sometimes, I wished to know how you have been doing. I'm really confused, its mixed feelings. I wished that you would be doing well, doing good, but when I see you doing well, I get angry because I feel that you don't deserve it. You don't deserve it, because you have built your happiness on the expense of the hurt, disappointment, sadness that you have caused in me. I know there's no right or wrong in a relationship, but...... you've promised me so much. We have gone through so much... and yet, it was so easy for you to get over me. 

And then, I see her. It was supposed to be me. I see how much joy is brimming from her eyes. And I understood that. Understood how much happiness you have brought her, because that was just how much happiness you have brought me too. I'm envious that the hand she's holding on to belongs to you. And that she has you, to spend her future with. That was my dream, all that my life revolved around for the past 11 years we were together. The dream that we talked about together so many countless times. And yet again, it was so easy for you to give me up. 

I still remembered, what you told me when you had decided to end the relationship; that you were not ready to get married. But now, I see you preparing and so looking forward to the big day. And it dawned on me, that it was not because you were not ready to get married, but you did not want to get married to me. What did I do wrong? What did I not do enough? I have never thought of a life without you, and it was really hard for me to accept the end of the relationship and move on. 

I am still angry at you, for causing so much hurt in me. Angry at you that it was so easy for you to abandon me. I probably will never forgive you again. Yet, I still care about you, and would occasionally think about you. 

Letting you go hasn't been easy. And it is probably one of the most difficult tasks I am forced to undertake in my life. Till today, there's still so much emotions I'm feeling; anger, hate, sadness, disappointment, desire, guilt, confusion and so much more....

With each passing day I am further away from you, further away from the memories that we shared together. And it pained me, to know that, I probably am the only one thinking about all these. 

It's funny how things have become like that. We used to be the best buds, soulmates who talked about everything under the sun. And you were probably the only one who understood me inside out, and vice versa.  

And now, we are nothing, but strangers. 

Hens night!

Attending my own Hen's night just made me realised that my wedding is really coming soon. As of today, my wedding is less than a month away!

It's so exciting yet so scary at the same time because I  am going to spend my entire lifetime with this only person, and I wondering if we both can get used to seeing and living with each other.

Life ahead is not going to be easy but both of us want to make this marriage work, and for that I am very grateful.

So anyway, the bridesmaid arranged for a Hen's night for me on 11th October 2014 and this was going to be the first weekend in a long time, that I will not be spending it with the hubby, and secondly, to be going for a staycation with my friends.

We chose Studio M for the staycation and it was a really nice place except that the toilet may be a little too small and the walls were not sound proof, because we did get complained that we were making too much of a noise and was advised to lower down our volume!

Who goes to a staycation and don't make so much noise! Humph!

And this was what I saw when I entered our room 432, beautifully decorated by 2 of the bridesmaid, Cheryl and Dom.

Of course we (I) needed to take a lot of selfies with it so that I won't waste their effort. And it was in my favourite pink colour! :)

We tried to take a group photo with the background but failed. And the one that we were stepping on, was an additional sofa bed that we had added to accommodate all 5 for us.

After camwhoring for a while with the background, we left the hotel for the next activity of the day!

Teatime at TWG.  I have never been for tea, because I never had the time in the afternoon to do a leisure teatime with my friend, and secondly, I had never been to TWG because of its price. 

No idea what we ordered, because the menu was too wordy and was too confusing, Totally not customer-friendly! ( I meant its menu)

Only knew that there were some mini cakes, canapes, burgers, scones, macarons. We ordered another cake as well, Singapore something.. (can't remember the name).  It was the  most fulling tea anybody can have. I think that was my dinner already. The price came up to $175 for 4, but food was really good, especially the Singapore something cake that we ordered. 

This friend had queued up for close to 40 minutes just for a seat for the 4 of us. If you're going on a weekend, either go queue early or make reservations!

Can't tell but I was totally exploding from tea.

After tea, we went back to the hotel to prepare for the next activity at night. We had some time before the next activity, so we did girly stuff like manicure! 

And I was given the opportunity to be the manicurist! Wished I had brought all my stuff so I could do a better manicure for all of them. But we made use of what we had, and still had a pretty decent manicure. 

After the manicure activity, we changed out made up and was ready for our dinner and night activity.

The outfit (veil, sash and wand), was a pleasant surprise from the girls, but it was quite embarrassing to wear it everywhere we went, cos all eyes would be on you, and strangers would wished you. 

More camwhoring before we left. 

An incomplete group photo :( because another bridesmaid had arrived late as she had another event in the afternoon. 

Oh yeah, here's the last bridesmaid! 

Dinner was at a Japanese restaurant which served really good grilled food. Can't remember the name of the restaurant though, and not sure of the pricing as well because the girls didn't want to let me know. 

After dinner, it was back to the room to chill because it was too early to commence our  night activity. We needed to find almost-drunk guys who would  be willing to part with their mooh-lahs!

And we had a nerdy activity. 3 of us were helping another bridesmaid to mark her essays from her students, and the other one was reading the newspaper and excitedly tearing open the condoms!

Ambassador of the condom. 

We shared stories about infidelity and how disgusting some attached/married men can get. Too many to share on the blog, but the conclusion is, DO NOT trust guys (or maybe anyone) 100% or you risk being taken advantage of. We were making so much noise in the room that we got complained and advise to lower down our volume. 

We stayed in the room for a while more then headed for our  night activity.

No pictures of those though!

And this one was in the morning with Dominique before we checked out! :) 

And to conclude this post, here's a picture of me and the 4 beautiful bridesmaid!

Really appreciate the time and effort they have put in, in this hen's night! :) 

Wedding Talk : Customization of Sticker Label

Now that I've got a wedding logo settled, of course I needed to make full use of it!

I was still lacking a customization of a sticker label for one of the dessert that we are providing at our wedding. And the very brilliant me decided to combine my wedding logo together with one of our engagement photo, and add some hearts bokeh, a frame and some filters and tadahhhh... Here is our customized sticker label! 

All you need is an app from AppStore; PicsArt and with some creativity, you"ll be creating your own invite design/sticker label !! 

Wedding Talk: Wedding Logo

Found a really good gem and I think I totally need to share it with everybody.

If you are stingy and on a budget like us, but would need a wedding logo, either for your invitation or other paper stationery, go to this site!

We just wanted a logo to place it on the printouts of our photobooth, and didn't want to spend a single cent to find a designer to get it done for us. And I'm glad I found this website.

Took me only 5 minutes to get this pretty design done and there were like other 25 pages of different designs for me to choose from.

Best thing about this website, its FREE! :)